Here’s a rare, conversational post on my exercise blog, one that’s not just a workout breakdown with stats & comments. I’ve moved most of the personal stuff to my private blog, because it’s detailed, voluminous, completely frank and darkly comic. I’ve realised I’m writing a book, my memoirs of the vast cultural differences between NYC and PDX, and about my experiences since swapping one existence for another. I’ve been inspired along the way by two other memoirs steeped in biting commentary: Disrupted: My Misadventure in the Start-Up Bubble and Live Work Work Work Die.
Now that I have the ability to leave, I’m quite content to hang around on The Hill all weekend
I got out of the house early today. I needed to get a package to UPS, off to my mom for her birthday. I was ready early and allow myself one visit to my favorite bakery a week, so this morning I decided to bring my laptop and hang out there for awhile. Just that simple pleasure was profound, actually. Just like when I stopped at Zupan’s and then Starbucks, after my last plein air attempt. I still haven’t looked at the initial sketch! I’m afraid I’ll be disappointed, like the last time. Granted I was in a much more public place & I’d gotten there a bit too late, for the light situation. I was also distracted by people determined to engage me in conversation, the first a homeless woman who wanted to talk to me about some physical, sexual harassment she’d suffered under one of the bridges, and an indifferent cop. She was then distracted by the fact that I dared to be grey. (!!!)
If more people had the balls to defy oppressive societal norms, perhaps they’d fade, ya think?
Even for a homeless woman in dire circumstances, another woman openly grey is a traffic stopping marvel. There’s always some area where people still feel free to be openly asshole-y. In today’s world, the places I’ve chosen to live anyway, no one in educated circles would ever dream of mocking someone’s sexuality, but grey hair on a woman? Fair game.
Granted the current president has regressed societal norms to an alarming degree, especially if we’re talking about internet vs real life exchanges.
I saw a comeback red hat that made me smile. It said, “MAKE RACISTS AFRAID AGAIN”.
I’d intended to (try to) face up to the bridge thing this weekend
That’s the point I was trying to get to. The plan was to ride with Charlie across the Broadway Bridge to the I-5, at least, so I could see the intersections & whatnot, and then to try to get myself to do it solo on early Sunday morning, when the traffic is super light. I wasn’t going to tell my friend Tom I was doing it either, in case I decided I’d rather turn right around & go home & not try to amuse myself until lunch time. I still get so nervous driving each new place. It’s incredibly irritating! But at least I’m giving myself and accomplishing the regular baby task of driving one new place a week. Last week I took myself out for lunch one day #imtheonlygayeskimoinmytribe. The week before that I stopped at Mud Bay on the way home to pick up some more Rad Cat for the princess, Lady Theodora. This is small stuff I know, but my New Yorker friends all get it. They’re the only ones who do! Almost everyone else pretty much drives from their teens to incapacitation.
Anyway I don’t feel like doing the bridge thing this weekend, and given the events yesterday I’m not all that convinced I’ll need to drive to Overlook any time soon. The last time I’d done any prepress was print stuff – “deliverables” they call it now – for the carpet company. We never went on press though. We were in New York and the printer was in Tennessee. The products were all promotional paper materials, and colors didn’t shift much at all in production. (Or if they did then quality control took care of it!) They’d send us proofs. We almost always got satisfactory color adjustments in three rounds at most, for just some of the images. (Granted, carpets are probably a lot easier to light and photograph than other subjects, like glass.)
There’s been drama at home too and I need to take care of myself and relax. Saturdays I like to read, work out late afternoon rather than early evening and generally chill. It’s a nice, cool day out today too, and the forest fire smoke & hotter temperatures are predicted back on Monday. That’s even more incentive to just enjoy the day and not introduce any personal stress into it!
Meditation and witchy stuff
I’m hanging out in the magic circle with Henry right now. One of the things I did was plan a prayer / ritual / spell for tomorrow. I already knew Jupiter is trining Neptune, which is supposed to be good for Pisceans in particular. Wanted to look up the most convenient hour ruled by Jupiter and plan a thing. My mother sent me the King James version of Psalm 91! I’d never heard of it & was going to just delete the email, but then I noticed she mentioned it is “for protection” and I remembered the pagan qualities of older Christianity. Why not get all Golden Dawn about it?
First of all I need to do a seated meditation. Even once in awhile would be better than never! The the LBRP. Those are always the prelims, which take about a half hour. Whatever follows is the specifics, which are always geared to the purpose. A protection spell is just the ticket! I think I’ll use the “dead things” ingredients: wasps for the sting of course, with their queen, the vanquished matriarch. The bird skeleton for the freedom of flight. I even have some human teeth! Courtesy of dating an oral surgeon. They do not apply for this spell though. The animal, non-ego / thinking spirit is what I want involved here.
Perhaps I’ll just read the psalm, burn some incense and make an offering. Perhaps I’ll draw the symbol of Abbetira, but no serious attempt at invocation. Whatever I do it’ll be an hour max, so a proper “thing” but not a huge deal that lasts half the day.
Maybe I’ll get my haircut in the morning instead of the bridge thing.
It’d still be driving practice and a new place and thus nudging my comfort zone boundaries a bit. Also it might make me feel better! I’ve been desperately needing one for awhile but I was afraid to lose my baby ponytail in August.